Country Mailman

Tune in every week to read about the adventures of Buck Buchanan, fictional country mailman, delivering mail out of Starz, Texas. He takes his job seriously and knows that customers count on him to deliver every piece of mail entitled to them. He is all about customer service. With a willing ear and a helping hand, Buck Buchanan goes the extra mile.

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I spotted her half a mile away, half hidden by underbrush, but the distinct red and black pattern of her hide made me shake my head. The old goat never learned. Only one of Ben Hudson’s goats gets caught in the wire fence regularly. At least, she is the only one I see. The nanny has so many scars on her body, she is easy to recognize. And there is one place outside the fence line where wild grapes grow. Nanny loves these grapes so much, she forgets that her horns never fit back through the hogwire.

I stopped and she struggled to get up, but had twisted herself in so badly, I knew I’d have to cut her out. Because of Nanny, I carried wire cutters and leather gloves – for the last six or seven years, the old coot has been getting stuck in the same spot in the fence year after year – but only during grape season. The lady knew me and sat patiently on her haunches while I systematically snipped the strands. She even tried to nuzzle my neck while I bent over her shoulder - could be the new aftershave I wore or that Babe had gotten up early and fried bacon for breakfast. After I freed her, she remained stationary and I saw her eyeing the grapes behind me. It didn’t take but a minute to cut some vines laden with the fruit and toss them inside the fence. Almost in acknowledgment, she shook her head vigorously before walking over to a bare mesquite trunk and rubbing her neck against the rough bark. I reached for the spare wire wrapped around the fence post to patch the fence, but I didn’t twist it too tight. I’d be rescuing Nanny again when she got hungry for grapes. Luckily, the season only lasted a month.

Half a mile down the road, Melanie Anzt stood at her mailbox as I braked to a stop. I found myself sighing and shaking my head the same as I did when I saw Nanny stuck in the fence. The outfit was typical and I knew her husband was out of town. Melanie wore a negligee, pink fluffy slippers and looked as if she just woke up from a very long sleep. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen her like that and at no time did she try to hide any part of what that negligee didn’t cover. Melanie had a collection of them, all different colors, and I knew where they came from as she received several packages a week from Victoria’s Secret. Luckily the Anzt’s had a large mailbox and so far, all the boxes fit inside, leaving me without having to make a decision whether to take them to the house or leave a pink slip in the box.

“Mornin’ Buck. Would you like to come in for coffee? I can make breakfast if you are hungry.”

I truly believe there are times in my life when I’m put to the test. Melanie Anzt is one of those tests. She and I both know neither coffee nor breakfast is on her mind and if I ever stepped through that front door, her husband, Andy, would have every cause to use that rifle he carried in the back window of his vehicle. Andy traveled a lot, being a rodeo stockman, and Melanie stayed home. She didn’t have any kids to keep her occupied. She wasn’t the type to join the local quilting or gardening clubs and since she had no family in the area, I’m sure I was the only one she saw on days when Andy was gone.

I handed her the mail and smiled, not anxious to stick around. I kept thinking of Babe’s face as she handed me the plate of bacon and toast this morning, a bright smile on her face and a sleepy look in her eyes. She also got up early just to make me cinnamon rolls for breakfast occasionally.

 “Thanks, Melanie, but I’ve got mail to deliver. See you tomorrow.”

As I drove off, I shook my head. Would Nanny and Melanie ever be satisfied with what was on their side of the fence? I rearranged my shorts to get more comfortable after seeing a near-naked woman and thought my life would be easier if they would. Then I groaned, braked to a stop and honked my horn. I didn’t want Melanie to get too far. I sure didn’t want to have to walk up to her door and knock on it.

The small box lay just where I had put it this morning, right beside my water bottle. When the postmaster handed it to me, along with all the other parcels to log in on the sheet, he had a raised eyebrow, but no words, no jokes. The man was not the chatty kind and I often wondered if his life at home was just as dreary.

The batteries the manufacturer used must be top dollar as that little box had been vibrating up a storm ever since he handed it to me. The little fellow was still jumping up and down on the dash. I could only surmise the contents since the return address label was generic, but Melanie Antz was the intended recipient and I suspected my guess would be accurate.

When I handed Melanie the vibrating box, she first looked surprised, then got a sly grin on her face. She, too, raised her eyebrow, just like the postmaster and looked me square in the eyes. Another test. Too many for any man in one morning!

I shook my head even though she didn’t speak, put the car in gear and drove away, without glancing in the mirror. I could very well remember her image in that negligee without looking again. I did like the green lacy one better, though. Some things stick in your mind and don’t leave. Again, I rearranged my shorts, reached for the water bottle and took a long swig. After a moment, I poured the rest over my head. It was enough to dislodge the picture. I had a job to do… and goats to save… and cinnamon rolls to eat!